When you hear “no” enough times you start to expect it at every milestone in your day. From having no likes on a snazzy facebook pic — to no new episodes of Breaking Bad for the next 3-4 months. You actually look forward to the universe going out of its way and shutting you down. And man, does it like it to say no.

After a while your insides turn numb and gooey – goonumby. Oddly enough, you feel pretty much the same when you hear “yes.” I still haven’t seen any new episodes of Breaking Bad? What’s that about? And don’t tell me to wait because “it’s coming soon!”

Everything as you can see eventually turns goonumby. It’s just how life works. And as a writer we are slaves to that emotion. So why is it taking you so long to get your fix?

Gross, you look like you have writers block ewwwwww…

The cure lies in the buildup to goonumby-vill. That ten second delay of pure bliss leading to an almost kiss. That uncertainty in the tone of your voice when you talk to a stranger. That part of you that says it’s safe to say these things you say when you say them to yourself. Do you get what I’m saying??? It’s primal. Bare. Raw. The pre-thought-after ideas. Don’t over-think it.

Writers block is just a term us writers made up not to write. Sorry my fellow freaks, the gig is up. The symptom doesn’t exist – like Pepsi Blue it’s out of commission (Note: This rule doesn’t apply to the state of Iowa. Iowa has everything, for those still reading, yes they even have writers block. It’s really bad out there. Someone should do something. Maybe Obama could help. Maybe). It’s a tool we abuse because we writers have God size egos and paper thin flesh.

The secret to getting around this is the build. Never mind the part of the story you’re stuck on. Focus on the part before and the spiraling action after. The build guys. No more excuses.

You can’t enjoy being goonumby if you don’t have something on the page to show.

Rule #345 A writers gotta write.