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I don’t even know you right now...

posted Sep 27, 2013, 12:43 AM by Kirk Deis   [ updated Jun 1, 2015, 8:00 PM ]
I’m never more alone then when I’m with someone.  There’s a side of me I’ve never truly exposed.  The nearest I ever came to letting someone in was for nada because she left. 

I think back on losing her a lot more then I like to admit.  I used to wish I had one more good day with her.  Just one.  I would be so selfish with her she probably would leave me.  Ouch!  Okay now I know, too soon -- too soon.   

But you have to right?  If it’s the last time you’re gonna see them smile and you don’t keep them for yourself, well then I don’t even know you right now the way I thought I did.   

Alas I used to feel like this… then one day while I was wishing away I realized I didn’t know when the last good day was for us.  Like I said, I never saw it coming.  The best part of me leaving killed me inside.    

But before you get all sappy on me this isn’t a sad pillow talk but an optimistic one.  Whaat??? Happy Kirk?”  Yeah?  Hey, I can be happy every now and then. 

If Belgium can host the world’s largest sand sculpture festival then I’m allowed to fake a smile.  Yes, I just gave a shout out to my one and only reader from Belgium.  Her name is Christy, she left a comment on another post but it didn’t show.  My apologies to readers going through this pain.  I’m still working out my updated website kinks.  Huh, is that why we’re fighting so much lately?  Awwww. 

All this has me thinking if I could let you in my mind what would you really think?

--10 Semi-True Stereotypes About Us Writers--

1.  Oh how I looooooooooove to lie. 

Essentially everything I do is a lie fantastically dressed up in one way or another.  The more you believe the lies the more alive I feel. 

I’m not lying about this either… 

2.  Just because I write, doesn’t mean I know HOW to write. 

I didn’t choose the thug life, it choose me.  I’m not perfect.  I know you feel like I am, but I have to pop your cherry right there.  Nooo, I won’t let you down the way you think.  I won’t walk away, but I am flawed and can only take so much and although I wouldn’t walk I do drive a purrrrty mustang. 

It doesn’t mean I don’t love you like crazy.  I’m just saying, I don’t have it all figured out (not that you should either but apparently as a writer I must – BTW any writer who says he does have it figured out is lying.) 

In other words… expect typos.                    

3.  You don’t have to pay me, I love working for free. 

For the right project, the right platform, the right friend, the right smile, the right smoothie, the right CD mix, I’d be down to work for free99.  

4.  Although I’ve been known to binge in booze when I’m depressed, I can’t afford to be a full-time alcoholic.

What do you expect if you don’t pay me?      

5.  I thought of the Batman story before the Nolan brothers did. 

Every writer out there thought of some story before someone else.  Thing is, I really thought of the Batman story.  I have a list of things I plan to do when I’m all “Hollywood” one is write my Batman story.  Hopefully Affleck won’t kill the franchise before I get there.      

6.  No one understands what I do and guess what NEITHER DO I! 

People ask me all the time what my process is – some even go as far as to throw terms around like “theme.” Every time funky words like that are spoken I feel less and less like a storyteller. 

Writers who utter words like this are robots to me.        

7.  Writers are all dead white men named Tupac. 

Competition is fierce out there so I’ll be the first to say I’m over Mister Shakespeare.  You’re gonna hear a lot of people urging you to honor the classics.  And you should… because they’re ummm classic.  Herrro Horatio. 

But what if you honestly don’t dig them?  You still have to pay respect?  I don’t think so unless iambic pentameter is making a comeback.   

Maybe you could study their “theme” and stuff.  Yeah, cool story bra.  (What is that 7 syllables?  6? Dang it!)       

8.  I live in a coffee shop. 

I hate coffee.  I’d rather be an alcoholic. 

Speaking of which, I wonder how that alcoholic stereotype began.  There are so many stereotypes out there I feel might have been strong contenders and well suited for us. 

For instance, our love for fried food, not always being the best at math, kinda crazy (Is being crazy a stereotype?  Really society?  That’s crazy.)

How did we get stuck with being drunks that could put 007 to shame?  At least we can drive and park unlike you lovely ladi-- 

9.  I’m not a loner. 

I actually have a lot of friends.  Now with that said, I am an extremely private person.  

The catch:  There’s only one person in the world who really knows me and I can’t remember the last time we talked.  Oh gosh, maybe I am a loner?  Hashtag Woooooooow!     

10. I take too long to procrastinate properly. 

I plan everything. 

Even when I plan on wasting time, I plan that out.  I have no idea what’s wrong me.  I really wish I could just stop but I just don’t plan on it.

FINAL THOUGHTS…

This feels like a quickie post I’m sure will have several parts tagged to it down the line.  Until then I’ll leave you with advice my father once told me after I said I didn’t need anyone, “You need at least one person in the world to connect with otherwise what’s the point boy?

Thanks Dad. 

Rule # 89 Eventually everything needs a label.

-Kirk